Music of Uncertainty
by MiStEr MaVeRiK
Summary: AU -Not giving away the coupling, read and see- Squall is a musician with a regretful past, Rinoa is an author with an unforgettable future. These two are destined to meet again, but where and when?
1. It's in the Past

There are times when I look back and remember those glorious days in high school, the freedom to do as I please, the recklessness, the pride, the girlfriends, the parties, and the friends. However, there was one girl I can never forget, one I would never want to forget. She was my angel, I could say, the one who watched out for me and stuck up for me whenever I was down and out.  
  
I remember how her soft, smooth complexion gave way to her deep, chocolaty brown eyes. How her ravenous hair turned into rusty brown highlights near the tips and how her sweet scent of vanilla and cotton always swooned me into a daze.  
  
She was the love of my life, I should say... Even though I still have a long way to go in this life, I have never met someone that's matched my love for her. When I was angry, she used to just smile and wrap her arms around my neck, hugging away my problems. I loved her so much...  
  
But... I was young, I was foolish, and I was immature still...  
  
I left to go to a party one night; she didn't want to go because she didn't like the people who were throwing it and the people who were attending, either. Of course I wanted to go, back then I loved going to parties, loved getting drunk. Back then, I just wanted to have fun and be stupid with my friends.  
  
I didn't realize how stupid I was going to be...  
  
Apparently, around 1 a.m. in the morning I had come upon an ex-girlfriend who had wandered her way into the party. I was sitting down, with my friends, drinking tequila shots and having an all around good time. I noticed her as soon as she walked through the door and I was furious that she would even show her face there, especially since she knew my friends and I would be there.  
  
She started dancing with a friend of mine, which angered me even more. I remember standing and shouting at her, halting the noise of a party to a stop. I think all she did was turn to me and smile. She danced her way over to me and asked me to dance with her, I of course didn't want to but I didn't want her dancing with my friend, either.  
  
I said yes...  
  
We danced until a song came on, one that I had asked her out to. She was being seductive, trying to win be back after cheating on me. I wanted deeply to refuse her, to tell her to back off and stay out of my life, but the alcohol and the jealousy was forcing me to give in to her.  
  
She led me into an empty bedroom and began to persuade me, to tempt me. I couldn't refuse her, at the time she was just too forceful and I still had feelings for her that were lingering inside me, needing to be fulfilled. That's where it all happened, that's where it all ended. That night...  
  
Rinoa...  
  
As it turns out, one of her friends caught me in the act with my ex and went rushing back to tell her. Her friend told her in the middle of her little brother's birthday, as he blew out the candles, she burst into tears and fled up to her room. I heard rumors that she would stay locked up in her room every night, just writing in a journal. I'm guessing thoughts about me, horrible, sickening thoughts about my disgusting and despicable self.  
  
I still regret everything...  
  
I was a senior and she was a junior... We were a year apart. Senior year came and went so fast, when it was time for me to graduate, I didn't even realize that that would be the last time I would see her. I figured it was best for me to tell her how sorry I was. I hadn't spoken to her since junior year, the year we started dating, the year I made a mistake.  
  
I went through the whole summer break just planning what I would say to her, trying to think of anything I could say to make her forgive me.  
  
It's too late...  
  
On the last day of summer vacation, the day I would leave for college, I went to her house to say goodbye and tell her my apology. When I knocked on the door, a stranger answered. I was confused, puzzled, a part me of was hoping it was just a cousin staying the weekend or a friend of hers. But no, my suspicions were correct... she had moved.  
  
She's gone...  
  
I never got to tell her how sorry I was. Maybe it was for the better, she probably wouldn't have wanted to even listen to me, anyway.  
  
It's in the past...  
  
I am now 24 years old and work as a musician, a profession I never thought I'd pursue. I always hated music, but after my breakup with Rinoa, I started getting interested in guitar and singing. So now, here I am, I work at a recording studio as a lead guitarist and a backup singer. I also do a little songwriting on the side, even though it's new to me, I'm still learning.  
  
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and wonder how she's doing or what she's doing. I guess it's in the past now and all I can do is put it behind me. Anyway, it's time to get started in life, and try to find a new love. I've had many girlfriends since her, but none have taken her place in my heart. I'm still searching for someone new every day.  
  
At this moment, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Maria and she's a cutie. She has long blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes that would remind you of an ocean. She's kept me happy for a full year now and I'm thinking of proposing to her. It's a possibility I keep going back to.  
  
Although I can't make my decision until I'm absolutely sure there is no one else for me, I'll keep Maria close to me. After all, I do love her...  
  
... Just not as much as...  
  
"Squall!" my girlfriend called as she threw open the front door. I smiled slightly and stood up, holding my arms out to her. She ran into my arms and I embraced her tightly, gently kissing her on the forehead.  
  
"Did you have a nice trip?" I asked calmly. She responded with a nod and gave me a tight hug before heading upstairs to unpack.  
  
I sat back down on the couch and heaved a sigh as I flipped on the TV, taking a break from my thoughts. I scanned through the channels, not finding a thing to watch, so I kept scanning. I rolled my eyes at some sales program and accidentally hit the number 8 button on the remote.  
  
I cursed myself as it flipped to a talk show, that was fuzzy and almost out of color. A familiar voice crossed the speakers and darted my attention to the screen, I scrambled up off the couch and rushed closer to the TV, trying to scam a good look to whom the voice belonged.  
  
Is it...?  
  
The woman who was talking was older and a little heavy set; her voice was deep and unclean. Her hair was ruffled and big, with a blackish tint to it. She was holding a book and kept blabbing on about its contents and its author.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen and for those of our viewers out there, this book has sold over 3 million copies alone in Balamb, Deling, and Esthar. It's currently on its way overseas to be put in bookstores everywhere! Now, let's meet the author, a charming young, sophisticated woman who has everything going for her."  
  
"Everyone, Miss Rinoa Heartilly! The author of "If only", said to be one of the greatest romances of our time."  
  
I dropped the remote, which ended in a large cracking sound on the wooden floor. My mouth stayed wide open as my eyes bulged out of my head. The camera shifted over to a girl I knew from my past, who had grown absolutely gorgeous over the period that I've been away from her.  
  
Her hair was longer, her eyes had become narrower and womanlier, and her features were still small and her lips still luscious. I couldn't breathe, my face was turning a shade of red and I couldn't believe my eyes.  
  
"Squall?" I heard a voice call from a distance. "Hey, hun, is everything all right down there?" it kept calling.  
  
"Everything's... f-fine!" I shouted back, slowly I edged my way back to the couch and collapsed on it, further viewing the television.  
  
"Now Miss Heartilly, tell us, what is your book about?"  
  
She smiled, "Well, it's about true love and the things we go through to experience it."  
  
The hefty woman chuckled, "If only things were as good in real life as they are in your book!" she exclaimed, getting a laugh out of the audience. "Tell me, it's about your fiancée, is it not?"  
  
She paused and nodded, "Yes, yes it is. I met him a short while ago and fell head over heels in love with him. He's adorable, and I miss him so much right now. Seifer, I know you're watching so, listen up! I love you!" she called to the camera, causing the viewers to cheer.  
  
I blinked as I let the information sink in. "She's getting married?!" I said, a little louder than I would have liked.  
  
"Who is?" came the voice of my girlfriend, now standing behind me.  
  
"Egh!! When did you get there?" I asked suspiciously. She slid her arms around my neck and shoulders from behind, gently kissing my jaw.  
  
"Just now, hun... Do you know this woman?" she lightly kissed my ear and ran her fingers along my chest.  
  
I shook my head slowly, resting my gaze on the television, on her face, on my past.  
  
Rinoa...  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
A/N: Hi! Left you a tiny cliffhanger there. Chapter 1 was intended to be short; I mainly took time to explain his past and what happened between him and Rinoa. Now you know, and stay tuned for chapter 2. Please give me reviews! I need all the encouragement I can get at the moment! Thanks and sayonara!!   
  
--Music of Uncertainty 


	2. The Festival

The streets of Deling were crowded and noisy with the people excited about the upcoming festival. Citizens were rushing through traffic to get to their hotel; others were simply wandering about, checking out the different sites and shops. I however was busy trying to write a song for this damn festival. Last year, I sat in for a band as a lead guitarist because theirs was sick, this year I actually get to perform solo on stage.  
  
I'm nervous, who wouldn't be? The fact of the matter is my song is based off my relationship with Rinoa. After I seen her on the television, I couldn't help but drift my thoughts off towards her every time I tried to write. It's clearly not good that I'm writing a song about her, for Maria will be there listening to my first solo performance. Trust me, I'm glad she supports me but I wish she would go shopping at the booths they have set up with her friends, rather than watch me perform my sickening love song to Rinoa.  
  
I don't think she'll realize it's about Rinoa, since she never knew about my past with her, or my history with her. If she wonders about the song, or my inspiration, I'll just tell her a friend broke up with his girlfriend he had been seeing for three years or something and say that I wrote it for him.  
  
It's a good excuse.  
  
I feel bad for lying to Maria, but what else can I do? She doesn't need to know about Rinoa, especially since Rinoa isn't in my near future. The only place I'm going to see her is on a television or on the back of some award winning novel. There's no chance in hell I would ever meet her again, so it really is a thing of my past. And the past is the past, correct?  
  
Well, nonetheless, the festival was coming up in two days, which didn't give me much time to finish the song. I still have to plan the music to it, I haven't written that yet, either. Let's face it... I'm going to be a house bum for the next two days, working my ass off on these lyrics and the music that goes with it.  
  
"Hey, babe. Whatcha doing?" she asked from the door. I jumped a little and looked back at my girlfriend.  
  
I shook my head, "Just working on this song," I gave my best attempt at a smile.  
  
She sighed lightly and gently started massaging my shoulders. "You're working awful hard on this. Don't get too stressed out, ok babe?" I appreciated her concerns, but at the moment I just wanted her to go away. She patted my shoulder and kissed my cheek quickly. "I'll go fix you some lunch."  
  
"I'm not hungry, thanks though," came my somewhat frustrated reply.  
  
Maria raised her eyebrows and set a hand on her waist. "Okay, well... I guess I'll head to the store for a little while; we could use some more groceries. Love you, babe," with that last, cringing sentence, she exited my office and went off to go shopping, I suppose.  
  
I leaned back in my chair and tried to relax a little until a knock came at the front door. "Dammit," I cursed. Slowly arising from my comfortable position, I went to answer the annoying visitor.  
  
There stood my beloved friend, Zell Dincht. Not exactly the person I wanted to see right now. I groaned, "Zell, what do you want?"  
  
He grinned and leaned against the doorframe, "I got some news for you, Leonhart."  
  
"Yeah, and what's that?" I figured it was some stupid news, something about how the mini-mart started getting hot dogs in stock or how his mom baked a cake that was four layers tall or some stuff like that.  
  
"Rinoa's in town."  
  
What...?  
  
I stared hard at his grinning face. He waved his hand in front of my dazed eyes, "Squall, did you hear me? I said Rinoa's in town."  
  
Am I hearing things...? Is she really here...?  
  
"S-she is?" I managed to stutter out. He kept smiling and nodded. "How do you know?" I questioned.  
  
He jerked his thumb behind him to point in the direction of the street. "She stopped by my place earlier this morning."  
  
To fill you in, Zell was one of my best friends in high school, he knew about my relationship with Rinoa and how sickened I was by my attitude.  
  
"Do you think she'll come by here?" I asked with a quivering voice.  
  
The blonde shook his head, "Pfft, no, are you nuts? She doesn't even know you live in this town, anymore. Especially not in this house... Well, she was talking to me, you know? Supposedly she's contracted to sign her latest book at the festival."  
  
I nodded slowly, retaining all this new information and trying to keep down the feeling I was going to vomit. "Zell, do you have a copy of her book?" I asked nicely.  
  
"Yeah, actually, I do. Why? ... No! Squall you are not going to get Rinoa to sign that, not on her big night. You'd probably make her break down and cry! Don't go near her, it's for the best," he warned.  
  
It may be for the best, but I wasn't listening to a word he was saying.  
  
The night of the festival was finally here! Deling was as packed as ever and the festival was sprawled out in all parts of the city. I was performing in front of the General's mansion. The stage was set up with strobe lights, smoke machines, and speakers everywhere you looked. I would be the only one performing on that stage tonight; a different band would be performing on it tomorrow, to close out the festival. I however, am the starting kick-off to the festival.  
  
The General told me that everyone that was supposed to be attending the festival or everyone that was part of the festival would be crowded around the stage since every other part of the activities would be closed off until I made my performance.  
  
He told me to welcome everyone, make my performance, and cut the line of tape that was blocking the crowd off from the rest of the festival.  
  
My stomach was in complete knots, turning over and over again, making me feel queasy. I've performed in front of people, just never sang or performed in front of this large of an audience. The boss at my recording studio said it could be a big break for me, and get me used to the feel of having an audience of this size.  
  
The General introduced me from the stage and I came out, with my acoustic guitar strapped around my shoulder. I looked around at the audience, spotting Maria close by. She gave me thumbs up and started clapping with everyone else. I knew Rinoa was there, she had to be, and she was in the festival after all. I tried searching for her face, not finding anything that looked similar to her beauty.  
  
"Squall, if you would?" the General handed me the microphone. I took it and smiled.  
  
"Hey everyone, welcome to the 23rd Annual Deling City Festival!" the audience cheered. A seat was positioned where I would sit and sing my song; basically I'm going to pour my emotions out in front of this large crowd. It was embarrassing, yes, but something I have to do.  
  
I took a seat on the stool and positioned the microphone near my mouth. I got comfortable and nodded at the audience. "Well, this is the first song I've written and it's dedicated to someone very close to me, here," I seen Maria grin and turn to one of her friends in excitement.  
  
Sorry, Maria... not this time...  
  
"I've worked hard on it, so even if it sucks, please applaud me," I smiled slightly and the audience gave a slight chuckle. I heard a few whistles in the back as I started playing the melody on my guitar.  
  
One of the lights beamed down on me and the rest of the stage went dark, I couldn't really see the audience then, since the festival took place at night. My nerves settled and I leaned closer to the microphone, getting ready to sing.  
  
"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare..."  
  
"The shadow in the background of the morgue"  
  
"The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley, We can live like Jack and Sally if we want, Where you can always find me"  
  
"We'll have Halloween on Christmas, And in the night we'll wish this never ends... We'll wish this never ends..."  
  
"Don't waste your time on me, You're already the voice inside my head... I miss you, I miss you..."  
  
"Where are you? And I'm so sorry, I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight, I need somebody and always, this sick strange darkness comes creeping down,  
  
So haunting every time..."  
  
"And as I stared, I counted, Webs from all the spiders, catching things and eating their insides, Like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason..."  
  
"Will you come home and stop this pain tonight? Stop this pain tonight..."  
  
"Don't waste your time on me, You're already the voice inside my head... I miss you, I miss you..."  
  
"Don't waste your time on me, You're already the voice inside my head... I miss you, I miss you..."  
  
"I miss you, I miss you..."  
  
"I miss you, I miss you..."  
  
I slowed down the strumming on my guitar and opened my eyes, finally stopping the melody and my singing. I stood and waved to the audience. "Everyone, enjoy your time at the festival!!"  
  
The audience erupted in applause and cheer, and by this time I was grinning like a mad man. I jumped from the stage and got several pats on the back and several whistles from different people. I took the scissors the General gave me and cut the tape that blocked the crowd. I continued getting cheers and whistles as they left for other parts of the festival; there were a few people who were hanging back, chattering amongst themselves. I didn't spot Maria anywhere, so I figured she must have went shopping with the rest of the crowd.  
  
Zell came up and gave me a high-five, please at my performance. "Dude, that was awesome! That was a kick-ass song, my friend. I am now your faithful servant," he said with a laugh.  
  
I smiled and nodded, "Thanks, Zell. Do you know if Rinoa seen it?"  
  
"I'm sure she did, she had to be here, after all. Was it for her?" he asked.  
  
I crossed my arms and gave a slight nod, indicating it was. He gave me a hard pat on the back, "Not to worry, man. Maybe you'll spot her here, or something. Come on, let's go check out the festival."  
  
Turns out, I haven't spotted her after three hours of wandering around aimlessly. I've seen Maria at least four different times and dodged her incoming figure on each occasion; I hadn't talked to her since this morning. I shook my head at my horrific attitude as I continued searching for the angel of my past.  
  
"Squall!" my friend tapped me on the back of the shoulder and tugged on my jacket sleeve.  
  
"What, what?" I stumbled out, through his tugging. I looked around and seen nothing out of the ordinary and wondered of his behavior.  
  
Zell pointed towards the Deling Hotel, which had been a famous spot for all sorts of celebrities to stay at. "Maybe Rinoa is doing her book signing in there," he said.  
  
I shrugged and jerked my sleeve out of his grip. "Maybe." I didn't want to sound too eager, but unfortunately I couldn't hide it. I sighed and sent a nod, "Alright, let's go check it out."  
  
After all, we had been through each section of the festival and still hadn't found a single hint of a book signing. We strolled into the hotel, which was packed with people getting free drinks at the reservation counter for agreeing to rent a room at the hotel.  
  
The two of us headed downstairs to the more quiet, and not as crowded bar only to find an empty stage and a bunch of empty booths. My chest singed with heartache, and I know it sounds corny but it does. My disappointment had no equal emotion at that point in time.  
  
Zell threw his arms up in the air, "Well, hell. We looked all over the place."  
  
"Yeah. Maybe she's not signing until tomorrow."  
  
He shook his head, "She said she would be here both days of the festival," he put his hand up to his chin in a thinking manner, as if to recall the events of the past few days and his conversation with her. "I don't even know why I'm helping you look for her, you don't need to see her again."  
  
I glared at him, "I have to make sure she gets my apology, even if it is after all these years. I still feel terrible about it, Zell."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know," he waved his hand about in the air. "Let's sit down and have a couple of drinks."  
  
I followed him to a booth in the corner where a young, geek looking waiter with glasses the size of shot glasses took our orders. Zell started up a conversation, something about a football game, however I wasn't listening. I was too busy thinking about her... The drinks came and snapped me out of my longing daze. I took a sip and felt a weird sensation in the pit of my stomach.  
  
"What the hell? What's in these drinks, cyanide?"  
  
Zell gulped his down, "I don't know, but they're good."  
  
I stared awkwardly at the reddish drink. "You didn't feel that queasiness in your stomach?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
I raised an eyebrow and took another sip, looking up towards the stairway through my glass. I seen a blurry, black object descending the stairs and lowered my glass to see who or what it was. The shattering sound I heard in the back of my mind signaled to me that I had dropped my glass on the tile floor. I saw the faint image of the waiter rushing over with a towel and a broom.  
  
Zell lightly kept hitting me in the arm, trying to catch my attention at the being I was already looking at. She stared right back at me, her startled brown eyes meeting my surprised ones. I stood up, scooting the table along with me, which made a large, white scratch in the middle of the floor.  
  
A whisper escaped my lips, "Rinoa...?"  
  
Her angelic face slowly lost its confused look and went to a calmer, more relaxed state. She started over towards us, her heels clicking on the tile floor, her hips swaying gently from side to side.  
  
"Hey, Rinoa!" chirped Zell, "We've been looking for you!"  
  
She smiled a little at him and turned her eyes back to me. "You have?"  
  
Zell nodded, "Squall wanted to say hi while you were in town."  
  
Rinoa shifted her weight onto her left foot and put her hands behind her back, a habit she always did when she was nervous, I remember it well from high school.  
  
I wanted to say something, anything, even a greeting would work. But nothing would come out; I was at a loss for words. The thing was, I had my whole speech planned out for her and now I can't remember a word of it.  
  
She lifted her face a little, giving me a better view of her eyes. "It's great to see you again, Squall."  
  
I slid my hands into my jacket pockets and nodded. "You too..."  
  
Zell looked off to the side and pointed towards the stairs, "Oops, that's my girlfriend! Gotta run, see ya guys!" he called while he was halfway up the stairs, even though he had no girlfriend at all.  
  
Rinoa looked down at the floor, which still had a few glass pieces around it and a big white mark, spreading up the middle. She smiled that gorgeous smile that I have been longing to see for so long. "It looks like you've made a bit of a mess," she pointed out, hesitantly.  
  
"I-I was surprised to see you."  
  
She nodded and looked at the clock on the nearby wall, biting her lower lip. "Well, I'm only on a 10 minute break, so I better hurry and get that water before I dehydrate," she said with a little laugh.  
  
I smiled and led her over to the bar, "Allow me?"  
  
Rinoa paused and gave a slight nod. "Sure."  
  
I bought her water and followed her up the stairs, out of the hotel. She stayed silent most of the way, taking a few sips of her water here and there. "I um, seen you on the TV the other day. You did well."  
  
She smiled slightly, "Thank you. Did you hear the news?" she asked, looking up at me with a curiosity in her eyes.  
  
"I did. You're getting married?"  
  
"Yep. Do you remember Seifer Almasy? The one that was in our English 2 class."  
  
I shuddered at the thought of the guy; he was a real big loser back then. He made friends with Rinoa by tutoring her in English; supposedly he's that kind of genius. Back then he wore big, red glasses and braces, one of the things I got a kick out of. I picked on him a lot, although now I wish I wouldn't have, he was a nice guy.  
  
"Yeah, yeah... I remember. How is he?" I asked nicely.  
  
She arrived at her book-signing stand, which was located just off to the side of the General's Mansion. No wonder I couldn't find it, my stage was only a few feet from it. "He's good, he's my editor. Things are working out really nicely," she said quietly.  
  
I nodded and looked at the line of people that had formed over her break. "It looks like you're doing well," I added.  
  
"Yeah, you too. I heard your song, I didn't know you were so talented in the music department," she said, with a slight grin on her face.  
  
"I didn't either," I grimaced, "I wasn't until I started practicing."  
  
"Well, Squall, it was great seeing you again! I have to go back to work now, see you later," she said, hurrying off to her seat. I knew she was uncomfortable around me, I could sense it.  
  
"Rinoa!" I called. She turned and looked at me sadly. I clenched my jaw, "That song, it was about you."  
  
A/N: Can I get more reviews please? 1 wasn't enough to help! Ok, until chapter 3, sayonara. Oh, and "I miss you" is copyright of Blink 182. 


	3. Escape

I sat up, recalling the night's events, recalling her face. I couldn't believe what she yelled at me, in front of all those people, she yelled. I've never seen her that angry before...  
  
She told me I just needed to let go and move on, that it was my fault we were over. She screamed at me, with tears running down her cheeks and the only words I clearly heard coming out of her mouth was the ones of "I hate you!"  
  
The night that I had planned turned disastrous; I hated myself even more for my past mistakes. After my scene with her, and after her cruel words and shedding tears, I went home alone. Maria came in later that night, wanting me to come to bed so she could repay me for singing that song about her. If only she knew what it was really about.  
  
I snorted as I collapsed back on the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling, so many thoughts running through my head; racing so fast I couldn't keep up. I wanted so bad to find her and apologize for being such a jerk, I never did get the words "I'm sorry" out.  
  
Jealousy struck me, so hard and so fast that I barely had time to catch up with the emotion. I shook my head fiercely, not wanting to accept the fact that I was jealous of Seifer Almasy, once the biggest loser on the planet. However... I couldn't deny it either. The man had stolen my true love, my soul mate, or so I thought. She probably didn't think the same after hearing those words scream out of her mouth.  
  
I stood up and stomped my way over to the phone. Dialing Zell's number, I put the receiver up to my ear. "Zell, what hotel is Rinoa staying at?" I demanded.  
  
A sleepy reply came wailing over the phone in a yawn, "The one we had a drink at."  
  
I hung up the phone quickly, grabbed my jacket and stormed my way out the door, in pursuit of my apology.  
  
()()()()()()()()()  
  
My knock pounded on the wooden door so loudly, I thought it would awaken the entire hall. The door slowly crept open and a blonde man stood at the doorway, looking at me through tired eyelids. "Can I help you?" he asked, curiously.  
  
"I'm sorry, I must have the wrong room!" I bowed quickly and started off down the hall. Damn that secretary, she gave me the wrong room number.  
  
"Squall?" the man called, "Squall Leonhart?" I turned and began to panic.  
  
"Yes?" I said nervously, "Do I know you?" my voice began to shake in spite of all my fears.  
  
"It's me, Seifer. Are you here for Rinoa?" he asked politely. I nodded calmly and felt my insides do a complete 180. Seifer had changed, he was more handsome, and he had lost his braces and his glasses. He smiled, "Let me go get her."  
  
I stopped him, "Hold on. Seifer, I'm sorry for the way I treated you in high school."  
  
He crosses his arms and nodded, "Well, you are forgiven," he paused, "Thanks," he turned and disappeared inside the room. I heard a few noises and out came Rinoa, looking more moody than ever. She glared at me and grabbed hold of my arm, dragging me outside to a balcony, overlooking the city.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" she questioned.  
  
I kept my eyes on her, not ever wanting to forget her beautiful image. "I needed to say something."  
  
She crossed her arms, trying to keep the chilled breeze away from her. I leaned back against the balcony railing and looked towards the cobblestone pavement. "I'm sorry."  
  
Rinoa gave a disgusted look, "It's a little too late, Squall. Besides, it was in the past and it's over now, so why don't you just get back to your life and I'll get back to mine."  
  
"Then, why are you still so angry?" I asked, "Why did I make you cry last night?"  
  
She looked up at me helplessly, her anger subsiding slightly. "Because you brought up a hurtful and regretful past! One that I wanted to forget!" she shouted weakly.  
  
"Why is yours regretful? I am the only one that has regrets!"  
  
She shook her head and stared at me, "I regret ever meeting you."  
  
I had always had this feeling when I was around Rinoa, one of nervousness and excitement. It was a gut feeling, like I always had butterflies all the time. It never dispersed except when I was away from her. And then... I felt so empty. The feeling still remained, and at the moment it was turning in circles, not wanting to accept that she had moved on.  
  
She rested her hand on the steel railing and gazed down at the city below. "You really hurt me, you know...?"  
  
I nodded slightly, "I know. I haven't stopped thinking about you ever since we met."  
  
Rinoa sighed, tiredly. "I wanted to say goodbye to you before we moved, but I was afraid what I'd find. I was scared that if I went over to your house, you'd be with your ex or some other girl, which only brought back feelings of hatred."  
  
"I wanted to say I was sorry. I went to your house the day I was to leave for college, but you were already gone."  
  
She gave a relaxed smile and shrugged her shoulders. "We were never meant to be, I suppose."  
  
I looked over at her, her hair blowing softly in the wind. She continued to stare down at the city; I could tell she was thinking about something. "Then why did we meet here?"  
  
She headed back inside and I followed. "Coincidence, perhaps. If it were fate or destiny or whatever, we'd meet somewhere else as well. But... Squall?" she looked up at me.  
  
"Yeah?" I said stopping.  
  
She looked down and bit her lip, "Please leave."  
  
()()()()()()()()()  
  
I hate my life.  
  
I hate who I am.  
  
I hate the present.  
  
I hate the past.  
  
And I'm sure as hell not looking forward to the future. I lay motionless next to my girlfriend, staring at the shadows on the wall, looking for some sign of help. Although I knew those shadows wouldn't be of any help at all, they gave me some hope that maybe somewhere, I will find a way for her to forgive me.  
  
I looked over at the clock, the neon green dial reading 4:30 a.m., I sighed, heaving out all my worries and my problems and slowly shut my eyes. I awoke two hours later, my girlfriend lightly nibbling on my ear. These are the times when I wished I were single.  
  
"Maria..." I groaned out, rubbing my eyes and turning away from her. "It's only 6:30..."  
  
She smiled seductively and ran her fingers down my arm. "I have a big day planned for us," she said with a giggle. "I have someone I want you to meet, Squall."  
  
I sat up and ran my hand through my hair, ruffling it up some more. "Who?" I asked, tiredly.  
  
"My parents!" she squealed excitedly, "They're up here for the festival and they're dying to meet you!" she grinned.  
  
My tired, drooping eyelids snapped open as I scrambled out of bed and held my hand up to block Maria's face. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! We have to meet them?!" I exclaimed.  
  
She frowned and raised an eyebrow, slowly rising from her position. "Of course, hun... We've been seeing each other for a while now; don't you think it's time? I've held them off long enough."  
  
I rubbed my face, to awaken myself more. "Yeah, you're right. Time must have... flew by..." I headed downstairs quietly.  
  
()()()()()()()()  
  
I watched her come towards me, a look of determination evident on her small features. I saw Maria and her parents walk towards the restaurant, soon disappearing inside. I turned back to gaze upon her, her white dress blowing swiftly in the wind that was soon to bring a storm. It was funny how Maria never even noticed I wasn't following, it's like fate had it's own way of working out our meeting.  
  
I could hear the waves crashing upon the shore to the left of me and the soft clatter of thunder in the distance. All she did was stare at me, her hands pinned at her sides and her lips tightly sealed.  
  
I figured she was waiting for me to say something first. "Hey," was all I managed.  
  
Her expression softened, "Hi..." she hesitated before continuing, "You are here with someone?" she asked.  
  
I sighed, "Unfortunately, yes."  
  
The sky grew darker and the stars brighter, although they would soon be covered with clouds from the oncoming storm. She smiled slightly and slid her hands behind her back, "Do you not enjoy the person you're here with?"  
  
I shook my head, "She wants me to meet her parents."  
  
"That serious?"  
  
I shrugged and put my hands in my pockets, "I never meant for it to get this serious."  
  
Rinoa looked off toward the ocean, studying the waves. "Do you ever mean for anything to get serious?" she said sarcastically.  
  
"Rinoa..."  
  
She looked down, "I'm sorry."  
  
I rubbed the back of my neck nervously, "You're here with Seifer?"  
  
"No, I'm here with my publisher."  
  
I nodded and watched her turn back towards me. "Planning on writing another book?"  
  
I seen goose bumps crawl up her bare arms and she shivered slightly. "Yes. I wish I could get away though; he's being a real jerk. He wants me to have a book finished and edited by December."  
  
I grimaced, "That's harsh. I wish I could get away, too. I don't really want to meet Maria's parents, they're those rich bastards who get their way all the time."  
  
She laughed quietly and shook her head. "I figured you would like something like that, having it easy."  
  
"You know, it's funny... I've told Maria that I loved her countless times, however I still can't convince myself that I do. Every time that I say those three little words, your image comes back to haunt me," I paused, "I wanted to say those words to you, Rinoa."  
  
She looked up at me innocently, her eyes sparkling from the small ounce of tears that were welling up inside, getting ready to burst. I was waiting for her to let out a sob or a sniff, but she never did, she was stronger.  
  
"What did that have to do with anything?" she asked, her voice shaky.  
  
I laughed, "I don't know, but I felt I needed to say it."  
  
She gave a smile, "Do you want to take a walk on the beach?"  
  
"During a storm? Isn't that a little dangerous?"  
  
"I like living on the dangerous side now, Squall, these past few years have changed me," she said cockily.  
  
I smiled and followed her down to the beach, forgetting that I had a girlfriend and her parents waiting inside for my appearance. We walked along the water's edge, the bright lights of the restaurant fading away the farther we got. Our conversation picked up, a happier one at that and we reminisced on the past and on all the good times we used to have together.  
  
I enjoyed it, being able to speak freely to her again. She challenged me to a race and I gladly agreed, a real smile gracing my lips for the first time since high school.  
  
"Okay! In your starting positions," she called, lining up with a rock and scooting me back to get even with it as well. I laughed quietly and got in a running position. She smiled brightly and looked over at me, "Ready? On your mark, get set..." she took off at a run, cheating me out of the victory.  
  
"Hey, get back here!" I yelled, chasing after her, frantically trying to keep up with her quick pace. She laughed and looked back at me, keeping a smile on her face. I began to catch up because her laughing was starting to slow her down; she tripped on a small rock and tumbled to the sand in a heap of laughter.  
  
I burst out laughing and shook my head, running to her aid. "It looks like you've also become a real klutz these past few years, too!" I said grinning, helping her up. She gave me a playful smack in the arm and turned her back to me, gazing out at the waves.  
  
The storm had subsided and shifted in a different direction, leaving only a starry sky and the luminosity of the moon. I stared at the small width of her shoulders and gently placed my hands on her bare skin, she shivered under my palms, I guessed they were slightly cold from the wind.  
  
I moved closer to her, my body gently grazing up against hers, I kept my hands placed lightly on her shoulders and felt her shift her weight back against me. The warmth of her body crept through my shirt and I slid my hands softly down her arms, resting my hands on her waist.  
  
Rinoa turned her head a little and looked at me through the corner of her eye, a small smile resting upon her lips. She moved her hands over mine and slowly intertwined our fingers together. I smiled and brushed my lips against her cheek, wrapping my arms completely around her waist.  
  
I leaned in towards her a little more as she turned her head closer to me; slowly I lowered my lips faintly onto hers, and closing my eyes, felt her body sink into mine.  
  
"Rinoa..." I whispered.  
  
()()()()()()()  
  
A/N: Well, how'd you like it? Please drop some more reviews... the support is helping! Catcha later!! 


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